it probably is, but for me i think i would have said the same if it would have been a woman neglecting her husband and family b/c of work. either way the person should be prepared to learn of an unfaithful spouse in my book.
i guess for the most part tho...women don't cheat (for the most part i said) so i guess i put myself in the wife's place and knowing that it would take an AWFUL LOT for me to ever even be tempted to cheat...therefore my mind tends to automatically think she must have been at least somewhat justified. Where as men...men cheat on totally devoted wives all the time...for whatever reason...it doesn't seem to weigh on their emotions like the same would for us.
here's an example...i found out my live-in fiance of several years had been cheating on me. i'd tried to leave him several times before that even, but wasn't strong enough at the time. Then a guy i graduated high school with, but had barely known began writing me from out of state. he would call a few times a week and we would e-mail a lot also. i normally would NEVER do that, but i knew that keeping my mind and emotions occupied on someone else would be the only way i would ever be able to pull myself away from the abusive fiance. Several weeks after i finally got the my fiance out of my life for good....was the first time i went to see this other guy. But the point is that even though it was just written and spoken correspondence with him....i STILL felt guilty for even talking to another guy while my fiance was still living in my house. And i still feel bad that i wasn't strong enough to get away from him totally on my own, but i do not regret getting away from him...not for one second.
i don't know if any of that makes sense...i'm in a strange place in my emotions today.
i'm glad you and your wife are truely trying to work things out.