ccgirl, why don't you tell this to your husband in the exact way you said it to me? My wife would hold her resentment inside and be angry at me ALL the time. Hence it was very difficult for me to be loving with her and her anger. But if she had said the words you wrote just now, I would have wised up long ago.
I am really really hurt by the affair but hopefully I can rise above it and forgive and forget. Well, I probably won't ever forget but I can forgive. And I can make a serious effort not to be married to my job.
We'll see how it goes. I am afraid the dude she slept with will be persistent about continuing the affair and that will not help. He may need some persuading to stay the hell away.