Point, your post really resounded with me unfortunately...
My workaholic tendencies were one of the reasons I am divorced now, I couldn't see the ways it was affecting my husband until it was too late. I didn't get the benefit of an ultimatum, and thought it was perfectly acceptable because it was helping us to build a better future together. Damn that living for tomorrow....
I wish I had practical advice for you, but just wanted to encourage you to really look at what's important in your life today. I learned the hard way that it really is the people who love us that matter most, and am grateful for a new perspective, even if it is still difficult to live always.
Good luck, whatever the outcome.