Originally Posted by Selah
I guess my fear is I leave. He gets clean. I refused to be in contact with him....and then I lost the love of my life. What if he does die, no matter how much I learn to detach I am sure it would break my heart to know he died alone, or without knowing I loved him b/c I coldy shut him out.
I am well aware of these kinds of fears and they have put me in a really bad place because they lead me to lower my standards for my life.
I am sure there are a lot of ladies here too that have experienced these kinds of fears and given in to them and ended up miserable.
A good way to look at it if you are going to use "what if" is what if nothing changes would you be happy with him exactly as he is right now? If you can't accept him as he is right now what would make you think if he changed to suit you that you would like him better than you do right now.
What if you let him go and he gets clean and he finds someone else? Does that mean you lost something? Not if you look at it right. How do you know that there is not someone else that is more suited for you? There are so many possibilities. He could also get clean and still want you in his life and you decide you don't want the hassle of wondering when or if he will relapse cause it is a real possibility that he will.
Don't put your life on hold waiting for him to get clean he will or he won't do it and it will be totally up to him. If he gets clean because he is
afraid of loosing you he will be able to throw it back on you that you made him change and that my friend is a lossy bag of goods...