first question...if you love your job then does your spose only hate your job and employers because of the hours you work?
i tend to be a workaholic also...have been most my life, but then i descovered that my people pleasing is the result of me being codependent. so i immersed myself in learning what that was and how it had affected my life up to that point. i started slowly teaching myself that....i don't have to kill myself for people to like me and if i do then i don't care if those kind of people like me anyway.
the bottom line is....enjoying your work and being responsible is one thing, but when it goes beyond and takes away from you living your life and spending time with your family...then it's time to take a look at things and re-evaluate.
We work to live....not the other way around. i mean, my career is SUPER important to me, but i've realized that spending time with my nephews, sister, mom and friends is an important part of taking proper care of myself.
if your wife is bringing up the 'D' word then my personal opinion is that she's feeling neglected, unimportant, unloved and not worth your time....and she'd be right in whatever feelings she is having.
if you are like me...then you probably suffer from low self-esteem and doing a good job at work and people pleasing is a thing we've come to reley on for self-worth, but it's only superficial and fleeting.....hence why we tend to keep pushing harder and working longer and longer hours.
my opinion is it's time to evaluate what's really important to you. i mean....if you died today would you think "man!! i wish i would have worked more!"??? i'm guessing not. Rather most of us would think, "man!! i wish i would have spent less time at the office/job and more quality time with my loved ones....i didn't have enough time with them and now it's too late."
That tends to put things into perspective for me. i don't care if you've been married 50 years now....your wife and kids need to feel like when you leave them to go to work each day....that you can't WAIT to get back home to them!!
loving your job is one thing, but it should never come before the love you should have for yourself and your family.
just my opinions.
hugs,
jenna
p.s. if you do go back to a 9-5....you are right in that it would turn into a 7-7 or similar. it's not the job..it's how much importance you give IT over your entire life. And if you don't change within...then any and every job will be the same 12+hours a day spent away from your family and your own living of life.