ICU

Hey there Silke, welcome to SR.

Sorry to hear about the situation that you are in. I know it can be very difficult to sort through all the facts and emotions.

I hear 'ya! That's one of the initial struggles for sure. That was hard for me too. As time went on I had to figure out "do I love the man that he is now?", or, "do I love the man he once was, or 'might' be once again"? I decided that I loved who he once was, and clung to the hope that he 'might' be that way once again. But, that wasn't who he was 'in the present' and the 'present' is really all we have. In my case, I chose to leave. I still love the man he once was, but from a distance! No one says you 'have to stop loving them' if you chose to leave them. You just kind of learn to love yourself, and in your case, your daughter more.

Do you have Alanon meetings in your area? If so, you might want to attend a few and see what you think. I know many people here attend Alanon and feel it is very helpful.

Please read through the posts here and in the stickies at the top of the forum. You'll see there's lots of people here that are going through, or have gone through similar situations.

Keep coming back!