I couldn't agree more but here is where I get lost in my decisions.....
I would've stuck it out if I thought he was actively seeking help. But he wasn't, when he did go to meetings or counseling it was for a short stint only when I started giving him a hard time and he thought he might lose me. I don't want to be his motivation, but the fact that I am...makes me wonder if that gives him the opportunity to find a better life.
At this point, once again, he is taking daily drug tests & going to two meetings a day, this would have to continue for quite some time before I would get back with him. The releif i have felt in the last fews days is amazing...
I guess my fear is I leave. He gets clean. I refused to be in contact with him....and then I lost the love of my life. What if he does die, no matter how much I learn to detach I am sure it would break my heart to know he died alone, or without knowing I loved him b/c I coldy shut him out.
I would love to believe everything happens for a reason but I'm just not there yet...
I will just continue day by day until I truely feel he has made the commitment to fight his addiction.
Regardless I am not going to see him or talk to him...he has to know I'm serious.