Hi Nevergiveup,
I did the same as you except I only worked half a day. It was hard but I wasn't going to give up. I had a 12 year old daughter that had been diagnosed with Juvenile Diabetes the year before, and her Dad could care less if he provided her medical insurance. He had the bare-bones of Champus Insurance...he was retired military..retired before I met him. This insurance wouldn't pay for any of the educational needs she and I needed to manage her diabetes so I got her on medicaid through the state too.
I had quit drinking the year before I went back to college...My goal was to get a BA in Psychology and get a better job with better insurance so I could provide everything she needed. I did manage this, with my clinical depression also, but was so tired. We spent evenings together after I went to my AA Meeting....sometimes I took her with me if she was having complications.
I still had two months of college left when I got hired by the local County Mental Health Center. I had 10 years continuing work with the elderly and this job was to work into a Geriatric Mental Health Counselor working with people in their own homes with depression/grieving issues/ & behavior problems...some with alcohol problems.
I never dreamed I would have such a job..my very favorite population to work with was the Elderly...they had so much wisdom and life experiences that would make me feel a little small when it came to my experiences.
My daughter and I had our ups and downs as it usually is with teenagers with hormones running wild through their bodies and her fluctuating moods with her diabetes and depression. When she was 16, we were sitting in the car, and she looked at me and said: "Mom I am sorry if I caused you too much worry the past couple of years." That was so heartwarming and special to me. I have never forgotten that day! I had four other children...all adults with the next youngest in the Navy. I was older when I had this daughter and we shared a lot of life experiences and made it through it all. It wasn't the end of the world if I was too tired to go out to dinner or if I had to go to my AA Meeting first for my salvation.
I have been sober and taking medication for my depression for 19 years now. I am in a very good & stable place. The past year has been the best ever for me. I am now 67 and my youngest daughter is 30. We have come a long way!!!!
There has been some good advice here...I just felt I needed to share some of my experience, strength, and hope with you. You are a very special lady that may have tried too hard for your son and didn't take some time for just you. I had to learn that the hard way....just like you are now. I had to quit my job when I was 60 due to my depression and arthritis and I didn't want to. I had planned to work as long as they would let me but I am satisfied with my retirement and my husband & I do lots of things together....BTW he is my first husband....we remarried six years ago.
kelsh