Originally Posted by
steve11694 
I would also venture to say the A at AA relates very well and has a lot in common (a strong bond) with other recovering A's. Sadly, this camaraderie can be quite strong. The A is able to re-live the drinking by sharing and listening. I guess it is a wishful thinking to be drinking again. Additionally, the AA group in a way substitutes the old drinking buddies group.
Unfortunately, this is sometimes very true...XABF's sponsor used to be our couples counselor - he was untastefully rude to me when I went to see XABF get his 6 mo chip and I ran into him there. It left me thinking I was being punished for something...when XABF was the lying, dishonest creep.
XABF took everything that everyone in AA said as proven fact - regardless of where in recovery they were. It benefited him greatly. He couldn't think for himself, so he got others to tell him what to do and could blame them for his bad choices - very convenient. It was like he got rid of his frat buddies and replaced them with the people in AA.
When XABF showed up at my door to throw me out of his life after months of re-building a friendship (we weren't fighting either) he said this was the advice he got from "everyone in AA". I highly doubt true recovering A's would advise someone only months into recovery to lie to their best friend for a week, hide what they were truely feeling, and use them to get material items they needed before throwing them out without providing any real explanation other than "we're not compatible".
As you can tell, I hold a lot of resentment over the role his AA played in my life - which is unfortunate as AA has helped and greatly benefited the lives of so many and has been one of the best educators of alcoholism for me.