Right now the only boundary I really have is if when he calls he starts in about me not writing or me not doing this or that, I hang up and take the phone off the hook so he can't annoy me calling back.
Ray, That's a good boundary!
Welcome momsrainbow. 40 years to life? Is that a 3 strikes deal or something? I know that when my ex first went in (for the third time) the sentence was a minimum 10 year sentence, but with plea bargaining, etc etc he ended up getting out in 2 years. He was clean for 2 months. Then he got bored and wanted to party and that was the end of it. He's back with all his druggie friends now. I haven't heard from him in 3 weeks. Our son (who is two) told me, he want's to go find daddy. It's so hard. But I am flat done now too. Same as you. If you bail him out, he will probably just run anyway and you would be out the bail money. If he's manufacturing meth, he's probably safer in jail anyway. And your probably safer too.
Hang in there and thanks for sharing.
My ex's mother called me last night. She got a call from one of Ds weirdo friends that made me sound like the bad guy in this whole thing. For example, she said, he was ONLY gone for two days before I kicked him out it wasn't like it was a week. The guy also told her D was still seeing his son. Which is a bunch of ********. He hasn't even called to see whether his son is dead or alive for 2 weeks now. He even lies to his druggie friends about what is going on. It made me so mad. I just went off on her. Anyway, thinking I might call his parole officer. Or not. I just don't have time to bother.