Boo - I also hope this is the beginning of better times for you. When we are in crisis, it seems like it will never end, but it does - I promise. All we can do is live for today and focus on the good things life has to offer. When I was going through a crisis of "he's disease" which I had terribly, my counselor told me to switch gears every time I thought of what he was doing. Everytime I had a thought of what is he doing? I would turn it around and say what am I doing? What am I doing to take care of myself right now. Even though I didn't want to think of myself at first, I would force myself. Most of the time it only involved little things like taking a deep breath and giving myself a compliment, talk to a friend about something else, do my toenails, Have you ever heard "fake it till you make it"? Well that's what I had to do or I would have completely fallen to pieces every second of every day.
The following is a reading from my daily meditations book, I thought it was appropriate.
Hanging on to any moment, once it's gone, deadens us to the joys and lessons of the present. We must learn to let go, to let go of persons, painful situations, and even meaningful experiences. Life goes on, and the most fruitful lesson before us is to move with the vibrations, be in tune with them.
Being open to the present is our only chance for growth. These experiences today in our lives beckon us forward along the path meant for us. We are not guaranteed only joy today. But we are promised security. We may not be free of twinges of fear or confusion, but we can learn to trust even in the midst of adversity. We can remember that power greater than ourselves whenever and wherever our steps are uncertain.
Dwelling, as we are wont to do, on our rebuffs, our rejections, invites further criticism. But neither should we dwell on past joys. Attention to now and to the persons here, now, is the only rightful response to life. Not being here, now, invites others to turn away, just as we have turned away.
I will celebrate the thrill of the present, squeeze the moments of today, and trust the outcome to God.
What can you do right now to take care of Boo?