Hello, welcome, and thanks for sharing!
I am also an adult child, and (up until this week) had an AH boyfriend who keeps relapsing... I can definitely relate!
"What strikes me though, is that his relapsing seems to have provoked an
increasing level of depression in me. I feel like I am sinking and have lost my spark of life. He is the one who relapsed, why do I feel like this?"
In my experience, this is a part of our codependency....we get very wrapped up in the lives of our AH & we often rely on them to make us feel happy, and further we become depressed when they are depressed. It's like we are so concerned with how they feel-- because we let it determine how we feel--and we lose ourselves in the whole mess....
So, maybe you feel this way because of codependency?.... when he isn't happy (i.e., relapsing) then you aren't happy...
If you think this might be true for you, maybe just try to detach yourself from his feelings...and focus on you....and what you can do to make yourself happy (I know its easier said than done)
Well, I hope this helps a little!
Hugs to you
and thanks again for sharing!
~Stephanie