Hi smoke,
I just sent my A a long, long e-mail this morning about exactly what you mentioned. He was molested by 3 people when he was a child and his dad was very unstable in his careers and bad with finances. My A would come home from school and his dad would be in the car saying "Let's go" and they would drive off and relocate. He went to like 6 high schools in 3 yrs. He graduated at 16 or 17 he's very ***** , which is so ironic)and joined the army. Anyway, I told him he has to forgive and try to overcome and let go of what happened as a child. And then work on his addictions. I sent him a book about that by ? Meyer. The TV Evangelist. She is very good. It's about her being abused as I child and learning from it. Anyway, I told him I wasn't going to beat a dead horse. If he wants to to get help and stop, he will on his own. I'm not going to ask him to do that anymore. It's up to him. And he's so intelligent and he knows all this. He said it's just so hard to quit because it's like there's this little parasite inside him that he has to feed.At it's always gnawing at him because it's hungry. I don't know, maybe he'll starve it and let it die one day.
Take care.