~If i don't read the email, how will I know he's working a program?
~if I don'tlisten to his voicemail, how can I tell if he is sober or if we would continue the dance
~I can delete his mail, or his call, but only AFTER I read/listen to validate my decision of no contact,,,
Thank you, CEGirl....I don't feel so alone out here knowing that others went through the very same cycle of questionning. It's bad enough when the phone rings and I have to check Caller ID but he hasn't done that for a couple of weeks....yes, I could permanently block his number but there are other ways for a caller to get through (another phone line, a calling card etc.) so I don't pick up the phone if I don't recognize the number. Even if I let myself wonder HOW he is doing, I know it is just "stinking thinking" that doesn't help me in the course of my day. Sometimes, I think...it doesn't really matter what you know about him because there's a good chance that if he did get sober he wouldn't want me in his life.
ARL