Thanks for your inspirations guys. North, well, I can't say anymore how I feel about you.
ala, and a couple others said to pray to my god. That's one of my sticking points. All the rest, I'm doing. But I can't seem to find God, even as I know him. I wish I could get on my knees and ask him for help, but honestly, the concept is so foreign to me, it scares me. The only higher power I have in my life is making sure my children are safe and happy and my charity work with animals. Those are the things that make me feel whole? Is that a kind of higher power?
See, I grew up with a Catholic mother and a Methodist father, so guess what they did for religion growing up? You guessed it. Neither. Nothing. God is a big empty space in my being. Herein lies my sticking point and what makes is hard for me. I went to some women's step meetings and felt lost. Loved, but lost. And somehow it seems that for this whole thing to work, besides sheer strength of will, the topic of the higher power is always there. I guess I'm just scared and rambling and I DO know that talking is good; I usually isolate and hide what I"m feeling, so this helps.
P.S. Alan, the Avatar is two of my pet charity rescues. The dog stayed, but the kittens go back to the shelter to get adopted. Talk about satisfaction.
Thanks again, all.