I suppose there also has to be a real good mutal committment to keep certain things seperate yet together?
Before my divorce I went with my xhb to a few meetings but I really was not comfortable with it, not because I didn't want to support him but because I just felt if and what he shared was for my benefit (telling me what I wanted to hear)
but then my discomfort shifted when he was very open and honest to a point where there were just some things I did NOT want to know that were NEVER going to benefit the relationship (maybe his sobriety but not our relationship).
Afterwards I felt even worse than I had before and I stuffed it because he wanted me to go with him. I already knew he was a crack addict and all the things he had done to us.. but I really didn't need to hear details of him on the floor looking for stuff in the carpets of cheap motels.. just too much information. I remember in particular how he shared in a meeting I went with him to that he had felt so horrible for driving me insane about why my car antenna kept breaking .. to be honest I wasn't driven insane by it, I just thought it was a defect of the car and everytime I had it replaced they just didn't do it right LOL.. so I didn't need to hear the details of what the antenna was for.. Ignorance is truly bliss sometimes. LOL
I'm sorry I went off topic with this. I see so many couples in recovery these days and I really route for you all!