Good that you understand you can't control it, and I agree that it doesn't sound like he's committed, especially if he continues to drink. However, he might meet the requirement for AA membership, which is the desire to stop drinking.
From my experience it's not an easy decision to "embrace" AA and the 12 Steps. For this alcoholic who thought he'd been doing fine for 27 years, the thought of turning my will and life over to a God of my understanding was horrifying. Even though my life was falling apart I still blamed my downfall on my ex and anyone else I thought had "wronged" me. Although I abstained from drinking, it took me 5 months in the program to be brought to my knees, and wanting to end my life before I decided to embrace the Steps. I've heard of people who wait years before they embrace the program, but they still continue to drink on occasion and attend meetings. If it works for them that's great, seems to me like it would be a living hell to do it half-way.
The crosstalk rule is for the benefit of the person who's sharing, so they may do so without interruption and unsolicited advice. To share is to free ourselves of a burden we may be carrying, or to share our experience, strength and hope with others. If you'd like to ask questions to gain a deeper understanding, how about doing it after the meeting or in the Alcoholism forum here on SR? Most alcoholics are more than willing to help and share, please don't let a bad experience deter you from asking for feedback. And if you feel like you're being judged because you're an Al-Anon'er, please find someone else to share with. There are plenty of us who'd like to hear from you too.
Scott