Hi there,
You're going through a lot of stress at the moment with the divorce and you are bound to feel stressed. When we start getting the "I want to stop/don't want to stop" to me was a recognition that I knew I needed to stop. Being sober/clean is so much better, helps us solves problems better. Everyone I know, knows I no longer drink or use I have told them why, some people I've lost (so they were not my true friends) and some have stopped too. I have made new friends and I don't feel bad the day after!!!! very beneficial!!! You can have more fun sober than you can drunk and you can remember what a good time you had the night before too, so you get to relive the good time over lol. Keep posting it's good to have you here.