I can still fall back into that murky madness of codependency with just a teensie weensie nudge. I definitely have more learning to do - because I am not responsible for anyone else's choices - good OR bad.
I'm pretty good at not thinking I was responsible for someone getting themselves out of the mess, but have to use handcuffs sometimes to keep my hands off when they are in the mess. It's hard to watch someone I love make a choice that I am quite sure will only result in pain. At this point it has nothing to do with addiction...just wanting to be Mama Codie, I guess. I am particularly vulnerable with my daughter...I just seem to want to protect her from every little hurt in life since she has had so much pain this last year and a half. I have to remind myself (sometimes rather forcefully, lol) that there can be a reason to go through pain...a larger lesson HP has that I am clueless about. Just because I feel for her and her losses, it doesn't mean I can deny her the right to continue to grow and experience life. It helps me to remind myself that I've been through a lot of stuff too, but if anyone tried to "do" for me, I'd have an issue with that. I know my daughter is no different and she deserves to fly on her own.
I'd like to join you on your couch if you wouldn't mind sharing your light when I slip and forget that this is a program for every aspect of my life. Just shine that light on me like a spotlight, and it will be a great reminder...hands off what isn't mine to control!
