You sound a lot like me although replace your husband with my mom.
It is a struggle every time it happens for me to not yell and scream at her which doesn't affect her at all since she is drunk and pretty much dead to the world. For a few months, I realized that wasn't helping and found other ways to deal with it such as living my life and trying not to worry about her and her actions--unfortunately I couldn't keep that up but I am back to day 1 of trying the new method.
I also just ordered some books that were suggested here about co-dependency, etc. I think there is a sticky somewhere. I am not sure I would be of much help but feel free to pm me if you think it would help. It seems we react exactly the same way...