Yes I go to al-anon, yes I have a sponsor and yes I talk to my sponsor and therapist. If you are not familure with the whole situation he started his blog after finding mine and started.... I don't agree with his reasons for starting it but its his reasons. Anyway, I only end up reading his when I'm triggered by the other blog I read that he also reads and so I know for me to not be triggered is to not go and read the other persons blog and thus I won't end up being triggered to read his. It only happens when I read this other blog otherwise I don't think about him or his blog... I'm too busy with other things and my life. I don't want to get into what he is or isn't doing... I'll just simply put it as before he started his blog he was keeping tabs as to what I was doing online thats how he found my blog... He didn't like what was in my blog so he started his own blog and took to following me around both on my blog and watching what I post on here. Its complicated I'd like to believe that he has changed and is the great guy that I have always known was in there but his ACTIONS towards me since he made this so called amends doesn't match the words. I don't know all I know is I have to continue to work on me not go to the persons blog that will trigger me to want to then go and read my ex's blog and to then keep working on matching my actions to my core inner beliefs and values.
I will say that this is all so very hard to explain in a post and it thus when I do post it tends to get confused and misunderstood by readers.
Oh as to the steps...I am working them...I am about to start my second fourth step....did one last year. I will admit that I haven't made a formal amends to my ex-rabf yet. He is on my list and I continue to pray for the willingness and the time to do so.... I know right now is not the time.... I have written him a letter that I have filled away and I have read it to GOD as well as my sponsor. I'd like to one day have to opportunity to give it to him but that time has to come from GOD and not me deciding that it is time. If that makes any sense. URGH I hate when I feel like I'm not communicating my thoughts clearly...its a frustrating feeling.