Chero ~ When XAH and I split, I decided to take back my maiden name. Since I work in a school, lots of the kids know me by my married name. Many colleagues didn't realize I had even been divorced over the summer.
It's been difficult acknowledging that I've been divorced, and i'm still getting used to my maiden name again. But little by little, I'm finding the process liberating. The kids I help still like me even if I'm divorced ~ colleagues are commenting that they've noticed I look younger, and chalk it up to the divorce now that they know. Not one person has condemned me, treated me differently, or passed judgement. And when people offer me "I'm sorry", I can truly thank them for their concern, but let them know the divorce was really a positve thing.
It took me a couple of months to get here, and I know you will too. Grieve the loss of your dreams, accept them as dreams and not reality. Your future is now filled with "I can" instead of limitation. Decide what you want, who you want to be, and how you want to get there. Ask your HP to get you through. Feel your pain, acknowledge your responsibilites, and go out and live the life you deserve.
((((((chero)))))) A hug from one reluctant divorcee to another. I promise it'll get better.