Originally Posted by
nakur 
So what now? Do you really have to hit the bottom to believe in step 1? Do I have to lose everything to admit I am powerless? Do I have to wake up and drink a beer in the morning? When will the moment come to admit? It's like my mind is split in half, one part constantly seeking recovery (like now) and one part telling me it's not that bad, that drinking is something that people do.
Just some thoughts on day 5.
The bottom is when you stop digging. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was powerless, the hard part was accepting the fact that my life was unmanagable. Took me six months to realize this. To answer your question, NO, you DO NOT have to lose everything, I didnt. Only bad thing is that it took me six months of NOT DRINKING to realize this. When was it my time to admit it and I was able to see that it was, When at the time my then girlfriend broke up with me. There were some other things happen leading up to that, but the next day when I woke up is when God hit me up side the head with a spiritual 2X4. And ever since that day, I have been recovering. When I got to AA I didnt believe in God, nor wanted anything to do with anyone that did. What I did was follow suggestions, do what others did, and also, I had the willingness, just enough of it not to go back to the way I was living and try something new, even if I didnt believe.