GiveLove

So...you should not help your brother get back on his feet because...your ABF doesn't want to quit drinking, or do it somewhere else?

I think you know the answer to this, don't you?

And I'm in agreement with aztchr...it's okay for YOU to see him sloppy all day but not someone else? You don't mean anything, in other words? You're not deserving of that dignity?

Anyway, here is one thing that my family once did: A brother was in a similar spot, and he was allowed to stay with my sister for a period of one month. During that month, he looked for work, found a job, and found an inexpensive place to live, which she helped him move into. It actually took a little longer than a month, but that was okay because he was obviously trying. And all worked out well -- she felt good about helping, her husband felt put out a bit but understood that she wanted to do right by her brother. And my brother now makes more money than all of us put together and has a family of his own, so that obviously turned out to be a good thing.

I suggest that, if you're really more interested in helping your brother than you are in enabling your boyfriend's all-day drinking, that you put your foot down and suggest something like this that's helpful, finite, and morally right.

Just my two cents' worth, as they say here. Take whatever helps and leave the rest.....

GL