mr c says so much with so few words!!!! so true, so true, so true.....his blanket statement.
i'll insert my name on this one too.
al-anon was my life-line.......it helped save my sanity and help me to understand to focus on myself.
i quit hating him after awhile for having an addiction, and i like what NoChoice said about "he had a disease and was doing the best he could do."
this is what i had to figure out......if having a disease made my exh behave the way he did, did i want to stay on his radar? did i want to stay on the bullseye target for him to direct his behaviors towards me and those around me.
if he was sick, and chose to stay sick, so be it. i had to chose if i wanted to be his sick bullseye for the behaviors. i had to remove myself from his range, and save myself from his verbal, cruel, and sometimes physical abuse.
it's hard to believe that a disease can make a person behve such as this.....we are used to seeing sick people being nursed and nurtured and them being grateful for it. with my alcoholic, nurturing him just enabled him to continue on with the disease and the destruction of our relationship and my sanity, and affecting all those near and dear to me.