Hi nakur, you say you don't want to go to AA because you cannot do step 1. Does that mean you have no desire to stop drinking? Because thats all they ask from you at AA. So why are you in SR?
Although I don't go to AA now, I have been to AA and I did get alot out of it. It helped me alot. (If you're socially phobic I found the bigger meetings better as you can be more anonymous.) I found listening to the main share at the beginning of a meeting extremely helpful. You hear about peoples experiences and theres always something you can identify with - you'll hear why people have taken so long to put the bottle down - often the same reason as yourself - they think that one day they can drink normally. Over and over again, alcoholics have been saying/thinking the same thing. I think I'm just getting it now, it seems ok now for me to just accept it and at present it doesn't seem such a big deal anymore.
I don't go to AA anymore, I don't like the local one in this town and would have to go further afield, though I do still recognise that while I disagree with alot of AA, there is alot of good in it too, alot that is too valuable to ignore or just not go to, so I would never rule out going again.
If anything, I found the program or atleast the meetings I went to, weren't spiritual enough! To go to a more spiritual meeting I had to go further afield to a meeting known locally as the "God Squad". One of the many things that AA gave me was my new found faith - I became a Catholic last year. Yes I know there are atleast as many faults in the Catholic Church as there are in AA and I'm not suggesting that anyone else should join! I just know that if I work the Catholic 'program' it will work for me, if I do it properly, just as if I do the AA program, that will work too - if I do it properly.
If you want to give up drinking, in my experience, (on the whole) AA is a good place to go, if you don't like it, you don't have to go again.