Originally Posted by
brdlvr 
At least now, finally, I recognize it for what it is - manipulation. I know he may never quit drinking. And I do think he feels love in his way, but he still places conditions on quitting - if you do this, then I'll quit. Despite jails, hospitals, homeless, jobless etc. He still drinks.
I'm so glad I'm not going down that road anymore. Saying hmm, maybe if I go back with him, or if I stick by him he'll stop. Doesn't work that way. The 3 C's all the way!
I'm looking out for myself. My issues. My life. Things I need to work on. And it feels good to be doing that. Of course I hope he gets help someday, I still do miss what he could be and the man I knew during the brief stints of not drinking. But no way will I put myself in the position I was in before with him. I'm letting him live his life - it's his choice to keep drinking and his life no matter how it is.
brdlvr
One thing about A's is that they are so incredibly good at manipulation it is scary sometimes. I applaud you for what you are doing and doesnt it feel good to do things for yourself?
I do it all the time now and I am now realizing how good life can be.