Odd, tomorrow will be day 40 yet right now I fel my grasp on sobriety is the most tenuous it has been. Although physically I now feel some genuine improvement I am finding my thoughts increasingly turning to drinking. No idea why. Up until a week ago I hadent come close to drinking. Since last week though I have repeatedly had to haul myself back from the brink.
I dont know where this defeatist mind set is coming from or what to do about it. I have pretty much convinced myself that I will drink again, its just a matter of time. I know thats not the way to think but I cant seem to help it.