mrsmurph

sad that they will never be high again?

I know that probably sounds rediculous, but I kinda feel that way. Like the rest of my life is going to be boring as hell. I'm already bored and it's not even a week. I haven't laughed at anything since I quit because nothing is as funny. I can tell my husband already misses his drinking buddy too.

I never wanted to be like everybody else and that is what I've become. Some kind of dorky straight worker bee, jogging after work and making sure all the bills are on time.

I know some would say "get a hobby, take a class, go to a museum, blah blah blah" but if that were the solution that's how everyone would live and we'd all be happy and fulfilled.

the fact is I work 10+ hours a day, 5+ days a week, cook, eat, clean, bathe, water the garden, walk the dog, go to the store, shower, sleep, etc etc etc and I have no TIME for a hobby or other stuff. My hobby was drinking because I could do it while I was doing all the other stuff I HAD to do. Now I still HAVE to do these things, but they suck 1 million percent more!

Also I told my mom and sis about quitting and going to AA and all of a sudden they're so concerned and I have a problem and they want to psychoanalize my ass. When I was drunk all the time I was fine, it was all cool, now that I quit it's the end of the fing world. Just like when I quit smoking, they were like "oh so I guess we aren't allowed to smoke at your house anymore, what if it's cold, are we just supposed to freeze?" Now they're "so I guess now we can't have beer or wine at sunday dinner because you want to quit. I think you're just going to have to get over it"

And hubby who I lovelovelovelove keeps drinking. It's his right totally, I don't try to tell him what to do and gives me the smae courtesy, but damn it's hard watching him have a nice frosty beer after a long day while I drink fing ginger ale like some kind of 12 year old. I can smell it from across the room, I swear.

And everyone at AA smokes. I quit that crap 3 months ago and it's still tough to watch them all smoke away. Dammit I can't smoke, I can't drink, I can't do drugs, I can't eat, I hate this so much. I have no release now, I have nothing to look forward to at the end of the day.