I was married to my husband for 25 years; we have three children and one grandchild. He is not an alcoholic, he is a drug addict, but the disease is the same. He is addicted to pain meds and sedatives.
I did not do all the 'right' things in the beginning because I didn't know what I was dealing with. His addiction happened slowly, over many years, and I jumped through hoops trying to help him and trying to keep my family together and protect my children. In the end, the only way to help him was for me to leave him and get out of the way so he can crash and burn if need be. I can't go through anymore 'helping' him.
You don't say how long you have been married, or mention whether or not you have children. You don't mention how many times your husband has been in treatment, or if he has relapsed before.
I could be way off base, but the tone of your post leads me to believe that you don't have a heck of a lot of experience with addiction and you think you have it all figured out.
All things considered, I feel like you are painting a rather rosy picture of a disease that has destroyed a lot of the lives of folks on these boards. It really isn't as simple as you seem to believe.
You cannot force ANYONE into accepting that they have an addiction or into treatment. Sure, they might go because of the threats, but if they are not committed to it for the right reasons, for themselves, then it will not work for long.
I hope your husband makes it, I really do. I hope you stick to your boundaries and continue to take care of yourself. I don't mean to offend you, but honestly, the tone of your post was a little self-righteous because no one has all the answers. No one. If they did, none of us would be here.
None of this said to offend you, just being as bluntly honest as your original post was.....