yeah..we suffer from the instant (gradification) insanity symdrom.
That's why the 12steps is hard..lol
it dosn't happen over night.
it gose hand in hand with being ungateful.
not to get all moral on ya..
I read on literature about an alki/addict brain orthe human brain in general.
Some people lable a part of a brain as the EGO...don't miss inturprate it...oki doki.
it's the part of the brain that controls our basic survival instink.
Most alki/addict ego brain constantly need to be stimulate, more than an average person.
Makesense when i always want more and more and nothing is ever good enough.
or I constantly need to be stimulate, but the tolerance level gose up so
i do more and more and take everything to the extreem.
Some would term a certain stage of it as obessesive, complusive.
If i'm being judge by judgemental people..they would simply term me
as a ungreatful person. Which leaves me with a negative attitude or
disconnected even more.
Healing starts when i talk to another alki that can relate to me.
As you know. You reconized these behavior patterns for sometime or
a long time ago. There's shameful feeling about it from knowing it and
not being able to control it. it feeds into the cycle of isolation even more.
So we tried to cover our tracks or try to live a normal routine life, but
the monster always show's it ugly head eventaully.
The theraputic vaule of one addict helping another, listening or understaning
another. I know what you mean...I live with that too.
it helps me out of that isolation feeling.
AA discribe it as instinc gone hay wire.
AA also say
" I'm a sick person trying to get well, not a bad person trying to get good".
it dosn't solve all of my problems but it's a start.
i don't feel if thou people are pouring salt into my wounds. At the every least
I'll reach out for hope