Jazzman

I talked to a lawyer on my own for the sole purpose of getting educated on my rights as a father and what the legal precedence was for my specific property and financial situation. Having this knowledge prior to opening negotiations was with out a doubt the smartest thing I could have done. All I wanted to know was what she was entitled to per the law. It was the best couple hundred I ever spent.

I didn't tell the lawyer I wanted to screw my wife or I was getting screwed, never had that attitude at all. Never said a thing about fault either because it really doesn't matter unless there are really outrageous circumstances. Even if a mother was ignoring the kids for the most part one would still have an uphill battle proving she's unfit, FYI.

Divorce is not fair and there's no justice, it's just painful plain and simple. Be the bigger person and make it as easy on the kids as possible and get it over with as quick as possible BUT, protect your rights as their Father and protect your kids.

Get educated about your options before you attempt mediation. If she doesn't like what she hears from a mediator she'll just get a lawyer anyway. And any good mediator will suggest you each get a lawyer to look over any agreement you come to. You don't have to be mean about it. It's just business. The business of breaking up when the state you live in has jurisdiction and a judge gets the final word if you fail to agree.

And if you ever get married again get a vasectomy and a pre-nup. This advice cost you nothing but it cost me dearly.