Hey there RedBear,
Yes, anybody who is willing to live sober can get sober following the 12 steps. No, they don't have to believe in anybody else's Higher Power. That's why the words "of our understanding" were put in the Big Book. So each one of us can decide for ourselves what that higher power is, or is not.
The point is that as alcoholics we spent our entire life trying to stop drinking, stop hurting, stop suffering, stop hurting other people, and we always failed. The concept of a higher power is there in order for _me_, as an alcoholic, to recognize that I am _not_ able to beat the chemical addiction by myself. I cannot overpower a chemical. Not alone. But if I find someone else who does have that power then I have a chance.
Whom that someone else happens to be is irrelevant. As long as I understand that the higher power is _not me_, then I have a chance at living a life that is happy, joyous and free.
I have several very deep and special friends in AA who are scientists. Piles of Ph.D.s to their name. Certified geniuses. They don't have any kind of spiritual-religious type of higher power. They found one of their own understanding and have been sober for decades.
As to your other question, Redbear, how you can best help him. The best way is to be an example of how the 12 steps can work in somebody's life. If _you_ work _your_ program to the best of your ability, if you find your own higher power and your own sponsor and go to your own meetings then your life will change for the better. Having that kind of example in his own life, in his own partner, is the most powerful way to help him find his own way.
Mike
