I know, when I worried about others "seeing" what I saw, it made me BLIND to how it was affecting ME
D-E-T-A-C-H
Wow,,what a concept hey?
Its a fine balance, being true to your "boundary's" yet still being a "partner" to your husband. I know it frost your arse to see someone "pull the wool" over the eyes of someone we care about, but only THEY can remove the wool.
When your husband comes to his own realizations "when its time", your only "role" as his partner is to support and listen to his woes. When ASKED, share you ESH.
Otherwise,,butt out,,,he,he,he
In the meantime, take care of YOU!!
Peace