DII

Well....no one said this would be easy! Last week I told AW that it was over. We met yesterday to discuss "next steps" because she wanted to. She said I suprised her with the decision I made. Then she said she wanted ME to move out of the house with the kids because it was my decision to end the marriage! Something tells me this won't be a simple process. It's hard to tell the woman you've been married to for 17 years that your tired, worn out, distrustful and plain done but I think not telling her and staying in the marriage is insane! She tells me that she is doing so much better and that other people have seen a huge difference in her since she moved out but its not that I would want to be back with her if she was sober.....I'm done. She might finally be kicking her alcoholism......but that's not why I have decided to split and that can't be why I'm staying. She keeps telling me that we have lots of other problems in our marriage besides her alcoholism. Sounds like alcoholic thinking to me. Even if that were true, I'm 44 years old and don't want to spend 5 years, if she does indeed get healthy, working on our "other" problems. Quite frankly I think many of our "problems" are due to her alcoholism and she still can't see that. Yada, yada, yada....you've all heard this before.

The tough part for me are my boys. They didn't ask for this and although they admit living separated from the Mom is tough, not dealing with the stress of her home and drinking is better. It's so simple for them....."why do we have to go through this, will we have to move, will this affect me going to collage?". I can only love them and give them the chance to be honest about the way they feel. Support, support support!

Thanks for letting me vent!