Hello there Papa, and pleased to meet you
Originally Posted by
papatuv 
... I call it nice Guy syndrome. I could probably write a book on this ...
Been there, done that. My ex-wife is very similar to what you describe. Mine is into pain pills, not booze, but otherwise it's the same story.
"Nice Guy Syndrome" has an offical term. It's called "Co-dependency", and you can find tons of books on the subject at any meeting of al-anon. I found that group to be a life-saver. One meeting in particular was made up of about 100 guys, and every last one of them has exactly the same story, just different spouses.
If you want to read that book you're thinking of writing, check out al-anon. They're in your phone book or here
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html
Mike