Fighting Again
It is 3:58 am in the morning. I am posting on SR. Just woke up from fighting the war again. Wife said I was kicking. The nightmares are always worse after a treatment session. Even now the mixed in emotions of child abuse and sexual abuse fogs my memory of the nightmare. It is like the rolls have been reversed in the nightmares. I did the killing but, in my nightmares it is me that is being killed. Sort of punished for my deeds. I have to give myself time to process this. Alcohol, made it easier, is no longer an option.