Originally Posted by
CE Girl 
Because of the blow to my core, I am left with distrust. That little nagging piece of me that still BELIEVES I am unworthy, therefore those that love me must be dishonest, and they are using my emotions to "fool" me into trusting them with my most inner, deepest thoughts and truths.
Sis, I could have wrote this one myself. You totally described what I always thought but couldn't figure out how to say. I think the thoughts were always there but living with an active A brought them to the surface. I doubt and fear everyone. It's a hard cycle to break.
I can say, honestly, that there are 4 people in my life now that I trust....2 of them completely and 2 of them I met here at SR.
Funny, it doesn't sound like a big number but it's HUGE to me. Maybe that's the secret...to start small--to start where you can. I feel lucky have 2 people that I can trust....trust to love me no matter what. It's not been easy but it's been a learning process.
I don't think the cycle is broken yet, but you gotta start somewhere!
