The triangle as a matrix
The drama triangle forms a complex web of interlocking relationships. The participants as perpetrator victim and rescuer tend to move rapidly and reactively between roles. The drama in most novels and television series starts when one of the characters makes a change. As the blurb on the back of the Penguin edition of Pride and Prejudice (and could those two concepts ever be anything other than linked?) says “At a time when the Napoleonic wars were in full flow Jane Austen writes a novel in which the principal events are that a young man changes his manner and a young lady changes her mind.” Indeed, and therein is the drama.
The changes between roles may be misinterpreted as real change but actually they usually are not. The alcoholic who suddenly stops drinking and becomes a prophet of abstention may simply be swapping between extremes, not learning moderate and ecological behaviour.
There are specific mental matrices to the roles of perpetrator victim and rescuer and most of us have all three roles already installed into our neurology as archetypes. The context usually determines which of these roles we choose whether consciously or unconsciously to activate.
A New NLP technique that can help escape from the triangle.
As we have all experienced some variety of drama triangle in our lives anyone acting as a therapist in this scenario has to be very clear on boundaries and be able to dissociate from the situation. Likewise the client will need to be able dissociate and rise above the immediate detail of their predicament.
To start with the client needs to make an accurate description of the problem with identification of the perpetrator, the victim and the rescuer. Each of these aspects should be identified for each of the players in the drama, as it is unlikely that any one player has always played within one role. Victims often perpetrate subtle attacks on others and this needs to be acknowledged.
(Chunking point. If there are more than three players the chances are that the three basic roles are intact and that the extra people around function as an ally to one of the three main roles, and so can probably be chunked in with perpetrator, victim or rescuer.)
So stage one map the territory physically on the floor. Describe each aspect of PVC in each actor in the drama, walking around between the marked roles as they are described. The therapist may have to be firmly directive to help the client appreciate all the roles they are in or have been in! Also describe an observer space (distant and dissociated for safety) and a benevolent observer space (for additional resources).
Stage two Using the presupposition that behind every behaviour there is a positive intention discover exactly what this positive intention is for every player in each role within the triangle. Reach the highest positive intention you can. Written notes will be needed here.
Stage three Chunk up these positive intentions to the point where all three roles begin to agree. Acknowledge and thank them for their positive intentions.
Stage four Withdraw to observer position whilst client stays in role of person whose map is being explored. A summary here from the therapist can help focus the client’s thinking. Revisit triangle if necessary for more information. Pause and have a breather.
Stage five Repeat stages one to four for each player involved in the triangle. As with all perceptual positions work clean exit and entry into the minds of significant others is vital to success.
Stage six. Having visited all three roles in all three players in the drama observe and summarise the learning so far. What commonalities have arisen? Can these positive intentions overcome present strife? Do they appeal to higher values and beliefs that can transcend the initial difficulty? If yes then map over the positive intentions to the other people in the triangle. See what effect it has on all aspects of them. Ecology check.
Stage seven Invoke resources from the benevolent observer as and when needed. (e.g. love, forgiveness, acceptance etc)
Stage eight Integrate all the learning and other qualities into the client’s neurology and physiology either in a dissociated observer role, or fully associated into the present. Check ecology.
Stage eight Intensify this state to desired degree. “And how does it feel to realise all this/that?”
Stage nine Anchor this new resourceful state
Stage ten Future pace if necessary
Effectively this is a three way parts integration exercise. The aim is to achieve greater integration of apparently opposing forces within the client.