4AM be grateful you were coherent enough to even think to turn to SR. I wouldn't have been at that stage! I've had over 20 years of "one last time". We know where it leads, why do we keep insisting we can handle it? I had 3 DUI's, all within one year - still don't have my license, but I'm just glad to be alive and not in jail for the rest of my life, which could have easily happened if I'd kept going. At the time I thought the DUI's had ruined my life (court, fines, humiliation, having to ask for rides, etc.) and though I did have my wings clipped, I now see that I had to be stopped. I just wasn't getting the message until it became a legal issue and the hard cold facts were facing me. Still, it's a time for celebration, 4AM - your life is about to change!