Does anyone else still get stressed out by the harassment and ranting of their A?
I most certainly still do get stressed. I get a big knot in my stomach when I pull into the yard after work and his car's not there knowing he's at the bar. It won't go away because I know I'm going to have to deal with the drunk BS when he shows up.
I'm still so new to Alanon though and working on the first two steps. Hope I get better at detachment. Not sure if I completely comprehend how to work the program yet or if I really feel the concepts emotionally and deep inside. I know my life is unmanageable, I repeat the serenity prayer and the three c's. I know I have to detach and let go. But this isn't so easy as thinking it. I feel like I've opened up Pandora's box and now what do I do with the flood of stuff I'm seeing.
One thing that is happening to me, I find myself thinking about myself more, and find myself being aware of how my mind wants to focus on AH. It's a struggle to keep the attention on myself as the mind wants to drift toward his issues, understanding him, and whatever. I need to keep pulling myself back to my side of the street. Does this make sense?