((bleau2))
Try and be positive for today. Today, you are sober. That is what counts, today. The past can't be changed, the future isn't even here yet, but you have today.
I know this is the friends and family part of the forum so I haven't been in your shoes. But I'll bet there are a whole lot of people in the other forums that have been right where you are. Have you posted there? Start a thread, pour your heart out, talk about that fear.
Hugs and Prayers
B