Bleau,
You ARE back...if you are not drinking today, then you are back. This is not the end of life...just a bump.
Does your addicted son live with you? Maybe you could post a "New Thread" at the following link and tell us about him, and what's happening in your life. It's good to talk it through with people who have been there too. I know there are tons and tons of parents out here who have been through similar situations, and will all have some very good ideas and support:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...tance-abusers/
Take care of yourself
GiveLove