((Gina))
Guilt is a very tricky emotion for me - for many, many years I felt so much guilt over so many things. As I started this journey of recovery, my sponsor and many, many friends in recovery helped me look at these guilt feelings. To distinguish between Realistic and Unrealistic guilt. So much of what I felt guilty for was not mine to carry.
Writing a list of what was actually my responsibility and what was NOT my responsibility helped me to know about the realistic & unrealistic guilt.
Just a hint - I really don't know that it is your responsiblity to provide your adult ABF with a place to live, food, transportation, or reminders about personal hygiene. So if it's not your responsiblity then why should you feel guilty about stopping providing it.
He is an adult. Yes he has a disease, but most people with this disease will not get help until they are faced a bottom of providing for their own needs.
From my perspective, I had to tell Mr. Nasty Guilt Monster to take a Hike - He was not welcome at my house anymore - I was living in a house of recovery. That meant self-care, self-respect and self-love - No more Unrealistic guilt about not "caring" for the A's in my life - I'm allowing them the dignity to care for themselves.
Just my e, s, & h,
Praying that you find your peace & serenity in dealing with those guilt emotions,
Rita