Gina, think about it....just exactly what is it that you feel guilty.....did you cause his drug use......was it your decision for him to use.....is it your responsibility to see that he baths or see a dentist......the answers to all of the above is a resounding no.....this is not your guilt to bare and you cannot help him learn his "lessons"......none of this is his parents fault either......the only guilt any of you should feel is if you continue to enable him in his chosen lifestyle.......
What your responsibility is (JMHO)....to take care of yourself and your child.....to not allow her to be around an addict......to provide a stable, drug free environment for yourself and your child......this addiction is his and is only yours if you allow it......please take the focus off of him and place it where you have some control....that being what is right for you and what you will allow in your life......
Peace and