This irrational crazy behavior still amazes me sometimes. I do understand alcoholism better since I'm more informed so intellectually I know the symptoms. I know he's sick. But there are things that still exasporate me. His compulsiveness, his instant gratification needing to be met, his focus on petty things. I cannot get it. I do say to myself that he is sick. He has an illness and it's not going to get better, only worse unless he decides he needs to do something about it. The three Cs. I must say them to myself 20 times a day. I've never experienced anything like this before and I hope to never again.
I took the girls shopping and we were gone until about 7:00 p.m. When I got home he wasn't there. I was happy and relieved. I know it shouldn't effect me one way or the other but I'm not completely detached yet. I'm working on it. He did end up coming home at 10:00 p.m. and I was hoping he would stop harassing me when I saw him this morning. But no, it continued. 24 hours later. Same story, same obssession. I told him I don't have time for his nonsense and went about my schedule this morning. I am happy to report I did not raise my voice and I left on schedule. I'm making progress but I still have a lot of work to do because even though it's an improvement over things I used to do (fight back, argue, etc.) I still was stressed and felt shaky inside. I know he's still effecting me negatively. Does anyone else still get stressed out by the harassment and ranting of their A?
Jenny