LBM
Oh yes it is. It's been that way our entire relationship. This is part of his alcoholic behavior, but especially when he's drunk. IMO, he is possessive, jealous, irrational, selfish, controlling and angry. Not all the time of course. The other part of the time he is loving, supportive, kind, thoughtful and charming. See the duality here? I have likened him to Dr. Jeykle, Mr. Hyde a long time ago. The are the classic issues of an alcoholic and he is also extremely codependent too. Unfortunately he only let me see the sweet side of him in the beginning until after we decided to keep our baby. Then it all came out and I was horrified. And I also felt stuck. And I kept thinking what did I get myself into.
He went on a bender last night. He was upset with me about yesterday for a few things (see above for one of them). He said he doesn't blame me for causing him to drink but by saying that alone I know he feels I have. I stated that if my upsetting him is getting in the way of him working on his sobriety, I can go. He can work on his sobriety without my presence in the home. He didn't answer that. He proceeded to get quite drunk and angry with me, said some nasty things, I walked away and said the conversation is over and he left the house. Came home sometime around 8:30 this morning to start harassing me at work by phone and on my cell phone. He must have called me at least 15 - 20 times in the past 1 - 2 hours. I have tried to stay calm, and removed myself from the conversation. He is still drunk by the way. He has nothing better to do today than obsess over what's bothering him so he's calling me over and over. I told him I will not answer my phone and it can go to voice mail. Doesn't matter to me. That part is over. Oh and he also cancelled our baby's physical therapy today. Again being completely irresponsible like last Thursday's bender and refusing to come to our double session with our therapist. He actually said regarding canceling her appointment, "the only one suffers with my canceling is our daughter." Oh, I'm sorry, that's not enough?
By the way, I'm really sorry you are in this situation too. It's feels terrible when anyone, especially someone you love, speaks and treats you disrepectfully. ((((()))))) to you. I hope these men either get help or we get out. For me I think getting out is going to happen first.
Jenny