As I said all opinions are welcome. Thanks for them. Interesting how two people saw it one way, and two others saw it differently. I need to hear all sides. It helps me to come to a conclusion. I don't think knowing what to call it will make it stop, but it will help me put things into prospective. I guess what I'm saying is I'm not sure what side of the fence I'm on, the first two (which is how I feel after listening to what he has to say) or the last two, which is his argument. I think we spend enough time together and if I want to do something nice for someone else besides me (I usually spend my lunch hour on myself because that is the only hour of the day I get without children or abf) then I think I should do just that. I don't need to spend my lunch hours with abf too. I see him every night (except for the nights he gets drunk and/or leaves the house) and all weekend every weekend. I think some time to myself is fine. Especially since I'm using it in a productive way, whether I'm doing something nice for someone else or just working on my recovery reading my books. He is not the only person in my life.
Jenny