(((aztchr))) I believe I completely get what you are saying. I am and have always been the "go to" person like you. I give until I bleed, then everybody gets through okay and I am left alone. But...when I am in pain, desperately in need of somebody, anybody to listen or help me....NOBODY...can even lift a finger in support. Instead, when I do get to talk to them, they listen for a little while, offer no support and then go on to talk about their issues! I have accepted and am working on changing the fact I have drawn all these people to me by my codie behavior.
But, because I have given til I bled so many times, I sometimes wish that somebody would do that for me! Listen to me for hours, come over when I needed it, make me tea, etc. I and I alone have always taken care of me-and sometimes I get on the pity pot and feel sad that I have never had a "caretaker" that would come and fix my problems for me!
But, what I am starting to understand is that in our codie behavior, we, or at least, I, give and try to fix and in my mind think that I will be loved and appreciated for all my efforts. But not so...just get used some more.
But the more I keep trying to take care of myself, the more I hope to attract people to myself that are not like the ones I have now...that understand about giving too, not just taking.
Just my thoughts....Never give up on taking care of you...no matter how strange it may feel sometimes.