Originally Posted by
CBrown 
Sometimes I think that by not calling you are still giving the A control. You do what you want to do. To me that says "it's all about you." I may be way off base, but then, I'm dealing with the same things you are dealing with.
This exact thought was the kicker that made the FORCE to contact my XABF so strong on Friday night.
I got a little angry and I thought. "well he called me out of the blue LAST WEEK. WHAT THE HELL, WHY CANT I CALL?!?!?!"
and then i dialed. How stupid.
az, I know exactly how you feel. every friday & saturday night.
And the getting tired of taking care of myself. some mornings I say: why do I need to shave, or when I am really depressed, why take a shower??! (lol) no one is seeing me! I know its weird... but it happens.
I miss my ex so much. his touch. his everything. I wish I just knew how to love myself so I could fill that void myself. I dunno how to explain it. I just wish I didnt miss it so much.
Truthfully. I really have noone to comfort me... even in conversation. and when I do have conversations with people about my problems.. i feel like "why would they want to hear about this? and I feel stupid and like a crazy idiot. and then I just close up. all my "friends" are going through there issues... I don't even think to call them anymore. and its hard has hell coz I feel I am in this little box. all alone. and the walls are caving in.... and there is no other places to go except sit where I am and wonder if I am going insane.